There seems to be a buzz in the world—a barrage of people to see, things to do, movies to watch, articles to read, work to be done. It never ends. It seems like nobody talks about this. How draining it is, even for the most extroverted among us. Then, if we do talk about it, we don’t really talk about it. We say, “life is just so busy” and carry on. Even more, the very last thing we’ll talk about is how we compare ourselves to others in all of this. How we see other people having thriving social lives and seeming to love every minute of it. How everyone (except us) can flawlessly check off their to-do lists and have time to spare. How others stay up to date on the latest and greatest movies. How our friends, coworkers, and loved ones are up-to-date on the latest news and what’s happening in the world. And then there is us, who are happy if we can get out of bed and make it through a day with minimal feelings of drowning. Or when we can maybe pick up the house a bit. Or if we can just watch the trailer for a new movie.
When it comes down to it, the world is noisy. I say that, but then I wonder… What is the noise? Do I have to listen to it? I’m thinking of it like a radio: I’m assuming that I must have it tuned to a specific channel. Right now it’s on a channel filled with chatter and annoying static. As much as I search for the perfect channel, it seems like it doesn’t exist. So while the channel I’m on isn’t a good fit, I assume I have to find a new channel. But what if the actual solution is just to turn off the radio? Now, I don’t mean to shut off the world, crawl in a hole, and emerge a while later. I’ve done this and it doesn’t really accomplish what I want it to. It might feel good sometimes, but I don’t think I end up ahead in the long run. Instead, I mean to just quit comparing myself to others.
My guess is, for those that have “perfect” social lives, if we look in other places, the view will be less glamorous. Those that are up-to-date on the latest news and movies are probably doing so at the expense of other things in life. And when I see others who are uber productive, well… they only have so many hours in a day, too; they must be taking that time from other things in life. Choices, I think that’s what it comes down to.
In other words, the world is noisy, that’s the way it is. But we get to control the noise. We can go to the social gathers we’d like. Or don’t. We can watch the latest movie. Or not. We can stay current on the news. Or skip it. We get to choose. And what we choose doesn’t need to say or mean anything about us.
I write all of this to say that the noise of the world, from my perspective, is all about comparison. It feels noisy because we are not only watching what others are doing but seeing how we rank against them. This, of course, isn’t all bad. Comparison may drive us to want more in our lives, motivate us to take action and get out of our comfort zone and to dream and know that change is possible. But we need to be able to turn it off. Like a radio stuck on a staticy channel, the constant buzz can drive us mad, so we must flip the switch at some point.
How we can stop comparing ourselves to others, while also recognizing how we want our life to be different? If I knew the answer, I’d want to write it here. Instead, I’ll end with some things I am pondering: when I see others doing great things, what are they doing? What do I tell myself about that? If I could, would I want to do what they’re doing? What would I have to give up or change to make that happen? And when it comes down to it, am I willing to do that?
